Romantic Ideas Gone Wrong
by Sandra-Dark
Summary: Oneshot Polarshipping, Joey likes Mai but doesn't know how to woo her, so he goes to his friends for romantic ideas...Will Mai like this?...read on!


**Well well, what do we have here?...a ONE-SHOT Polarshipping? There's a first time for everything... sadly. (slaps herself) Wow this one i didn't write any Yaoi at all...meh. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh... just the "plot-bunny" (Wingless Raven's quote), Also the poem i made myself! **

**Author Note: oh yeah the characters are a little OOC.. for some parts..**

**Please enjoy the Story and Review once you're done, its greatly appreciated!**

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** Romantic Ideas Gone Wrong**

"Ok now she's really playing hard to get," Joey groaned as he sat down on Yugi's bed. Yugi and Yami had been trying to help their friend hook up with Mai for a week now with no such luck. Yami walked over to the little blackboard of romantic ideas. As he picked up the chalk he turned to face the blonde teen who was sitting on the bed rubbing his eyes.

"So we've started off with the traditional flowers and box of chocolates, which was Yugi's idea."

-_Flashback-_

(Ding Dong)

"Who is it?"

"Joey."

"What do you want?"

"I have flowers and chocolates for you." Mai opened the door to Joey holding out gifts and his eyes closed with pursed lips waiting for a kiss. She grabbed the gifts shoved a banana into Joey's mouth and shut the door in his face.

_-End Flashback-_

Yami marked a cross through the first idea.

"We tried my idea of the romantic poem reciting."

_-Flashback-_

Joey stood outside on the ground floor looking up to Mai's 1st floor window of her house, dressed in a tux. Yami was crouching in the bushes nearby.

"What do I do now?" Joey whispered to the bush behind him.

"Throw a stone at the window to get her attention." Joey bent down and threw a brick at the window completely smashing it. Yami shook his head.

"I said stone."

"Oh, well there wasn't any."

Yami sighed, "Never mind just read the poem."

Joey cleared his throat and started to yell towards the house.

"Mai, oh Mai, oh Mai, I can't stop fingering about you, My heart throbs in you erection, I want to take you into a cleavage and sing songs of sex memories, Mai, oh Mai, oh Mai, Will you pimp my ride?"

"It's Mai, oh Mai, oh Mai, I can't stop THINKING about you, my heart throbs in your DIRECTION, I want to take you into a CLEARING, and sing songs of such SWEET memories, Mai, oh Mai, oh Mai, will you BE MY BRIDE!?! Geez Joey can't you read?!?" Yami shook his head in frustration.

Mai came to the window and the next thing the blonde haired-boy knew he was on the ground with a red brick imprint on his forehead.

_-End Flashback-_

Yami crossed out the second idea. His finger rested on idea number 3; Tristan's idea.

"And you just recently tried tap dancing your way into Mai's heart."

"How did that go?" Yugi waved his hand in front of Joey's face.

"Hello… anyone at home?

"Oh, ah yeah this is how it went down."

_-Flashback-_

"And now ladies, give a warm sexy welcome to new comer Joey!" The blonde teen stepped through the red velvety curtains out onto the stage, wearing a white suit and black tap shoes with a red rose in between his teeth.

"He's dancing for a special girl, Mai Valentine." The usual stripping music started to belt through the speakers as Joey started to tap dance. His eyes darted around the room looking for the blonde girl he truly adored. He spotted Mai sitting near the catwalk and he started to 'ball tap' over to her.

The blonde girl was just stunned that a 17yr old was one, in a strip club and two, since when could he tap dance?!? A friend of Mai's leaned over to whisper into her ear before handing over a small black bottle. The blonde girl smirked as Joey got closer. True to his blondeness he tripped on his shoelace and ended face first on the cat walk. Still twitching in pain he raised his head to look at Mai for a second before his vision went blurry."

_-End Flashback-_

"She sprayed my eyes with pepper-spray!" Yugi's eyes softened, his sympathies were going to his friend. He didn't really understand why Joey would want to go out with someone that kept rejecting him. Yami sighed as he crossed out the last idea on the board.

"So what do we do now?" Joey asked looking at all the crossed out ideas.

"Well we could ask Tea for-"

"No! I don't want her to help me…she doesn't even have a boyfriend herself!" Joey snapped his pride of not using females to get to females seeped into his statement. Yugi snapped his fingers.

"I got it, why don't we ask Kaiba?" Joey cocked an eyebrow at the spikey haired teen.

"Money bags? When was the last time he helped us?"

"When he paid the court to forget your criminal offense of peeing in public." Yami grinned as he remembered the day. Joey scoffed.

"Well, how was I supposed to know that pole wasn't a-"

"Can we get back to what's happening, c'mon lets go visit Kaiba." Yugi shook his head as he heard the doorbell ring. He raced down the stairs to answer the door. To his surprise Seto was standing outside with his duel disk.

"Hey Kaiba, we were just talking about you."

"Save your heart of the cards speech I'm here to duel you now and kick your ass."

"But I wasn't saying a speech…well if you want to duel can you do something for me first?"

"And why should I?" the brunette gave the shorter boy a stern look.

"If you don't I won't duel you."

Kaiba sighed, "What do you want then?" Yugi grabbed Kaiba's arm and pulled him towards his room.

"Yugi you do realize that I don't swing that way."

"Oh don't be such a homophobic Kaiba." Yugi shoved the taller teen into his room and closed the door. Yami nodded at Kaiba in greeting while all Joey did was giving the CEO the cold shoulder.

"Can you help Joey here win Mai's heart?" Cold eyes looked at Yugi then at Joey, then at the blackboard. The brunette threw his head back in laughter.

"Ha ha ha!...Hasn't the mutt been able to woo the stupid girl…wow what a surprise- Get your paws off my collar." Joey lept up halfway through what Kaiba was saying and grabbed his collar ready to punch him, a massive nerve sticking out of his forehead.

"Why you little son of a-"

"Joey calm down please I don't like fights in my room." The little spikey haired teen tried to push apart the tall boys. Kaiba shoved the mutt away.

"Oh and like you can do better?" the Brunette brushed himself off.

"Well I was voted most sexiest millionaire this year and-"

"Oh wow what an achievement, you beated a whole bunch of 50 yr olds." The Blonde teen rolled his eyes.

"Do you want my idea for you getting with Mai or not?" The frustrated CEO folded his arms. Joey sighed.

"Alright tell me already."

"Very well, here's the plan…"

(Time Jump – Next Night)

"Welcome to the Kaiba Corp Tower Mai Valentine." Joey spoke into the voice over mic as he watched the blonde girl walk into the foyer dressed in her normal purple boob tube and mini skirt.

"Please board the main lift to the top. I'll be waiting for you." Mai got into the lift and pressed the button to take her up to the top of the tower. Once the doors open her eyes were greeted by the blonde teen dressed in a Casual black dress-shirt and pants, holding a dozen of roses.

"Come with me I've got something to show you." Joey extended his free hand to the stunned blonde girl and led her out onto the balcony. The wind swept up into both blonde's hair as their eyes rested on the view below. They were in the highest building in Domino city, during the day it wouldn't look special but come to night time...Their eyes were dazzled by the city lights below. All life down underneath them suddenly became nothing but shiny specks of light in the dark abyss on the ground.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Joey turned to Mai to see her face. Mai shook her head.

"Why Joey must you resort to your friends?" She gave him a not impressed look.  
"Wha...what do you mean?"

"Well was it your idea to read a poem, give me gifts oh hell even try to get with me by tap dancing at a strip club?"

"Ahh…no-"

"And I bet this wasn't even your idea to have me up here in KAIBA'S tower with this view…Do you know now why I'm not impressed?" Joey scratched his head.

"Because I didn't bring champagne?" Mai frowned at the boy.

"No, because you were taking your friends ideas to try and get with me, that's not the real you." Mai took a hold of Joey's hand.

"Now I admit you're an idiot, but you're a sweet one and I thought you were original…unless you've got something to say that's from yourself and not prepared by some other person, then I'm leaving and I don't want to hear from you again." Mai turned to leave but Joey tightened his grip on her hand.

"Wait…there is something." Joey handed the dozen of roses to Mai. She looked at the rose that he pulled out of the bunch. All the other ones were real while this one was fake.

"Mai I'll love you until the last rose dies." A smile crept onto Joey's face as Mai hugged him.

"Thank you Joey." Mai dropped the roses.

"Ahh that's alright I-" He was cut off mid-sentence by Mai's lips. Coming out of stunned mode Joey deepened the kiss. The blonde girl's hands made their way under Joey's shirt to feel the hot skin. He nibbled at Mai's lower lip begging for a tasting. She opened wider and Joey moaned as his tongue slipped into her mouth. Something he'd been wanting ever since he met her that day on the boat to Duellist Kingdom. Mai's thoughts wandered through the past. She recalled the day she met Joey, the time she'd gotten beaten by him and how angry she was when he discovered her aroma strategy. She remembered the feeling of loneliness when Marik wiped her memory of Joey's existence; how painful that felt but it was replaced with happiness when he was putting his life in danger to save her, countless times during battle city and when Dartz had control over her with an evil card. Tears seeped through her eyelashes as Joey pulled away for air.

"Are you ok Mai… did I bite to hard or something?" Mai cuddled into the blonde teen's chest.

"No… I was just going over the time we met and what we've all been through." Joey smiled down at her."  
"Well everything's fine right now…So Mai you want to be my girlfriend?"

Mai slapped Joey's face playfully.

"Nah… I just wanted to kiss you…. You idiot of course I'll be your girlfriend." Joey laughed his over-confident laugh as Mai cuddled into him looking out at the view once more.

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**Well there's a sex ending... ahh i mean SWEET ending... damn Joey's stupidity is easy to catch. PLEASE REVIEW!**

**ALSO BEFORE I FORGET A BIG THANX FOR MY FRIEND THE WINGLESS RAVEN FOR JOEY'S ROMANTIC QUOTE/GESTURE!**


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